


Stumbling Upon a Tired Glaive in his Natural Habitat

by KairaKara101



Series: The Adventures of Trash, A Bird, and a Traitor [4]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Domestic Fluff, Exhaustion, Gen, The Adventures of Trash a Bird and a Traitor, The Tired GlaiveTM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:53:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22618180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KairaKara101/pseuds/KairaKara101
Summary: Noctis and Prompto go on an adventure after somehow coming across one Vice Captain's Address. What could possibly go wrong?
Series: The Adventures of Trash, A Bird, and a Traitor [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/862976
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Stumbling Upon a Tired Glaive in his Natural Habitat

**Author's Note:**

> Oh how I miss the crazy crack that is The Adventures of Trash, a Bird, and a Traitor. This one references one of our late-night conversations [CLICK HERE](https://tatbt-ffxv.tumblr.com/post/168284334636/luche-mumbles-something-noctis-what-luche)

“Hey, Prompto,” Noctis called over his shoulder looking down at his phone, “I think I found Luche's address.”

Prompto came over leaning over the side of the couch looking down at Noctis's phone, “Wait seriously? How?”

“I asked HR about it since he was on, you know, 'babysitting duty' and he hasn't been showing up these past few days,” Noctis stated showing Prompto the address, “what do you say we head over to his place and see what's up?”

“Now that you mention it... he hasn't been showing up recently,” Prompto replied frowning concerned, “do you think he got injured again?”

“Who knows. Astrals knows the Glaives were out on missions these past few days,” Noctis said pushing himself up to get his jacket and shoes on, “Come on, let's go before Iggy shows up and stops us from doing this.”

“Hell yeah!” Prompto replied picking up his camera and shuffling into his shoes, “You know Noct, I don't think I've ever been to a Glaive's place before. Where do you think they live in the city?”

“No idea,” Noctis answered, “but I bet this will be an exciting adventure.”

****

The subway ride towards Luche's place took longer then either of them realized. It was almost an hour-long with two subway transfers only to reach the closest subway station. They still had a thirty-minute walk to the actual address to trek. 

By the time the two of them arrived, they were huffing out air leaning against the wall of an apartment complex just next to Luche's supposed apartment door.

“I was thinking what would we do if he wasn't home?” Prompto questioned between gasps for air. The elevator was broken so they had to walk up ten flights of stairs that looked like it would break at the slightest pressure or weight.

“I dunno, call Iggy to pick us up?” Noctis replied shrugging while straightening up preparing to knock on the door.

“What the fuck are you two doing in this part of Insomnia?”

Noctis and Prompto spun on their feet towards the voice. Luche stood there with dirt and grime covering his form and dried blood on his cheek snaking its way down his face. He was missing one of his fingerless gloves while his boots were caked with mud.

“Holy Astrals, Luche, you look like shit,” Prompto blurted out blinking at the sight.

Luche sighed pinching the bridge of his nose, “Yeah, you would too if you spent the last twelve hours outside fighting the Nifs and getting blown up every five minutes. Now answer the question.”

“Why else would we be here?” Noctis inquired tilting his head curiously. 

Luche groaned fishing out his keys and stepping past the two to unlock the door, “Does anyone know where the two of you went? Do I have to make phone calls telling people that I didn't kidnap the Crown Prince and his friend? And should I expect Ardyn to show up, having invited himself into my apartment, lounging on my couch like he owned the Astral forsaken place?”

“Well, perhaps you shouldn't have jinxed yourself, Vice Captain,” a sing-song voice called out as Luche pushed his door open.

“Motherfucker,” Luche deadpanned releasing a sigh, kicking off his shoes after seeing Ardyn lounging on his couch.

“Ardyn! When did you get here?” Prompto questioned following Luche into the apartment.

“Oh awhile ago. I must say I wasn't expecting the whale shark on your bed or on that desk over there. It's quite cute for someone who is the embodiment of sternness and assholery,” Ardyn stated eating a chiffon cake with whipped cream.

“Ardyn, how did you find out Luche's address?” Noctis inquired closing the door behind him. 

The apartment was small. It looked like one big room that held the living area and a kitchen with two doors leading elsewhere. Noctis presumed that one led to the bedroom while the other to the bathroom. Prompto grabbed Noctis's wrist dragging him around the large room looking at the little things scattered about Luche's apartment.

“Oh I simply asked someone to ask someone to ask someone that knew his address,” Ardyn stated grinning as he took another bite of the chiffon cake, vibrant eyes following Noctis and Prompto around the room.

Luche ignored them walking off to the bedroom to get gather some clean clothes. Usually, he'd clean up back at Headquarters, but the last mission was long and he really wasn't in the mood to deal with the 'children'. Plus, he was exhausted physically, mentally, maybe emotionally. He probably should send a text to Scientia about the whereabouts of one wayward Crown Prince and his friend. He should do that right at that moment otherwise, he'd forget and then he'd have the Crownsguard storming his apartment in full swat gear or something stupid. 

Luche blinked tiredly staring at his phone not comprehending the words on the screen. What the fuck was he typing? He heard Noctis calling Prompto's name and a crash. Right. Scientia. Crown Prince and Chocobo. Luche finished up the text and sent it off before throwing the phone on the bed. 

Shower then food. Promptly in that order. Then, he'll deal with the three uninvited guests lounging around his apartment.

****

Noctis stared at the broken frame on the floor before slowly looking at Prompto and seeing his shocked and horrified face.

“Oh shit...,” Prompto muttered staring down at the broken frame, “I didn't mean to... Oh Noct, Luche's going to kill me.”

“He wouldn't,” Noctis replied slowly unsure leaning down to pick up the frame and the broken pieces of glass. He turned the frame over and stared at the photo that was sitting inside. Prompto looked over his shoulder at it.

It was a photo of a middle-aged man and woman that shared a heavy resemblance to Luche. Were these people his parents? They looked like kind, gentle, and hardworking people. Was those corn stalks in the background? Did Luche come from a farm? Astrals, was Luche a country boy?

“You should take a look at the only two other photo frames in the apartment,” Ardyn drawled with amusement, “The Vice Captain was such an adorable baby nestled up against that little kitten.”

“What where?” Prompto questioned turning back to look at where Ardyn was pointing with his fork. Following the fork's trajectory, Prompto made his way towards the frame that was sitting on one of the shelves, “Hey Noct come look at this.”

Noctis walked over and peered over Prompto's shoulder. It was Luche as a baby? That kitten was really cute. It was a gray tabby kitten. They were snuggled up against each other.

“Are you two done looking through my things?” Luche questioned quietly drying his hair with a towel walking past them into the kitchen.

“Luche,” Prompto exclaimed raising a hand to his chest, “shit that was not good for my heart!”

Luche stared at him briefly, before rolling his eyes, “Why are the three of you here? Is it really because you found my address?”

“Ah, well...,” Prompto hesitated putting the frame down on the shelf to rub the back of his head sheepishly.

“I was merely curious where the esteemed Vice Captain lived other than Kingsglaive Headquarters,” Ardyn replied pushing himself to his feet to drop the empty plate and dirty fork in the sink.

“On the same day?” Luche deadpanned staring at the box on the counter, holding a chiffon cake with a slice missing. He laid the towel on the back of a stool.

“A mere coincidence, Vice Captain,” Ardyn answered patting Luche on the back.

“We were worried because you didn't show up,” Noctis pointed out stiffly putting the broken frame down on the counter with the broken glass pieces. 

Luche eyed the frame and the shards of glass before glancing up at the trio, “Worried?”

“Y-yeah,” Prompto stuttered out fingering the camera hanging around his neck nervously. 

Looking into Luche's eyes was sort of scary. Noctis and Prompto have seen a tired Luche before. The never spoken or mentioned about ever again, The Pocky Saga. But now they were inside Luche's den so to speak when he was tired. Is Luche going to have an outburst? Is he going to fling them out of his apartment? Should they be worried about bodily harm?

“Why?” Luche questioned, brows furrowing in confusion.

Noctis and Prompto shared a look of confusion. Ardyn made himself comfortable again on the couch.

“Why wouldn't we be worried about you?” Prompto said softly, “You've spent valuable resting time keeping an eye on us.”

“You didn't have to come all the way into the bad end of town to check up on me,” Luche pointed out turning his attention to his fridge looking for something simple to cook up and eat, “you both have phones and my number. And I'm sure Ardyn is merely being a fucking shit coming here.”

“Oh you wound me, Vice Captain,” Ardyn stated with a dramatic hand over his heart.

“Enough,” Luche stated pulling out a sandwich, “you can take your dramatic ass and fall off the balcony.”

“Should we leave?” Prompto blurted out seeing the dark circles underneath Luche's blue eyes.

“At this time? You are aware that this is the shitty end of Insomnia,” Luche replied kicking his fridge close and leaning against his counter to look at the trio, “I'm surprised you'd even come all the way down here.”

“We were curious,” Noctis said sitting down on the stool next to the counter, “You've been to the Citadel and my apartment.”

“Astrals, next time, text me. You're lucky I came home when I did,” Luche replied tiredly rubbing his temples, “there's an idiot down the hall who is either high or drunk at all times.”

There was a pounding on the door. Noctis and Prompto flinched at the loud sound.

“Mr. Lazarus! Mr. Lazarus!” a muffled voice called from the other side, “It's Roxana.”

Luche walked over to the door and opened it.

“Oh thank the Astrals,” Miss Roxana exclaimed, her hair was a mess.

“Who do I need to kick out of the building?” Luche questioned with a tired smile.

“I'm so sorry for always bothering you,” Miss Roxana stated rubbing her arm, “there are some men downstairs that won't leave Mr. Wilco alone and they're causing a ruckus.”

“Do you think I'd go to jail if I killed them?” Luche inquired tiredly picking up his dagger from the table near the door.

“Mr. Lazarus, please don't kill them. They're just misguided that's all,” Miss Roxana said softly. 

“Still annoying,” Luche muttered under his breath before glancing over his shoulder, “Do not destroy my apartment. I'll be back after I deal with some shit stains of humanity. Lead the way, Miss Roxana.”

Noctis blinked turning to look at Prompto, “Does he ever stop working?”

“I have no idea,” Prompto replied hearing the door click softly.

“It's a wonder how that man is still alive,” Ardyn stated holding the large whale shark in his hands. It was surprisingly soft. Like softer than cotton soft. Marshmallow soft. It was soft like cotton had a love child with a cloud. To think the Vice Captain kept such a soft plush on his bed. It was large enough to use as a head pillow if he so desired. Ardyn stared at the whale shark's beady black eyes and slightly curved smile. Was this whale shark judging him?

“Is that the whale shark you were mentioning earlier?” Prompto questioned sitting on the edge of a side table.

“It's cute,” Noctis said quietly with an urge to squish it to see if it was soft or not.

The trio kept themselves busy before they hear the door opening and Luche coming inside cracking his neck.

“Have you taken care of the trash, Vice Captain?” Ardyn inquired still having a staring contest with the whale shark.

“Promptly. They're currently unconscious in the dumpster,” Luche deadpanned heading to the sink to wash his hands.

“Is this normal?”

“For this part of Insomnia?” Luche questioned drying his hands and picking up the sandwich, “Always. You'd be lucky if you two don't get into trouble for coming down here without telling anyone.” 

“Oh... well....”

“It's fine. I think I sent Scientia a text explaining your whereabouts,” Luche muttered after chewing his food. 

“You think?” Noctis questioned amusement coloring his words. Luche must be extremely tired. And if he said he was out on a twelve hour mission... good Astrals, how long as he been awake?

“Haven't checked my phone,” Luche replied shrugging, “if Scientia is smart, he'd text one of you two for directions or with any concerns.”

Something jumped onto Prompto's shoulder making him scream out. Noctis straightened up alert ready to pull a weapon out of the armiger. 

“Calm down,” Luche said quietly coming around the counter to Prompto taking a little white munchkin kitten off of Prompto's shoulder, “Rigel, we've talked about you jumping onto unsuspecting guests.”

“Meow!” Rigel mewled snuggling against Luche's chest licking his paw. 

“Sorry, this jumping kitten is Rigel,” Luche replied sighing fondly, “He's a stray that kept getting into trouble.”

“Where in Eos did he come from?” Prompto exclaimed rubbing his shoulder.

“There's a hidden cat door somewhere in the apartment. Most of the cats and kittens know about it,” Luche replied shrugging like it was the most normal thing he dealt with on a daily basis.

“Wait... you mean to say that cats and kittens come and go. Whenever they want....” Noctis stated evenly, “I don't even see cat hair, or a food bowl, or a water bowl, or anything anywhere.”

“They're smart felines. I have a few cats that drop by that can open the cabinets and the tuna can,” Luche replied petting Rigel on the forehead.

“Meow?”

Noctis glanced down at his feet resisting the urge to jump in fright at the black bombay cat sitting on his hind licking his paw.

Luche looked over sighing, “That's Night and if Night is here... Storm please come out.”

A gray tabby with a white belly appeared on the top of the fridge with a regal air about her. She nodded to Luche before taking in Prompto, Noctis, and Ardyn. 

“They've multiplied....” Prompto stated evenly. To be honest, Prompto and Noctis were much more of a dog person rather than a cat person.

“Meow. Meow,” Storm mewled nodding towards the door.

“Ah,” Luche replied evenly walking over to the door and opening it before Ignis and Gladiolus could knock if their floating arm meant anything, “I was expecting you.”

Ignis and Gladiolus shared a surprised gaze before they both turned to look at Prompto and Noctis over Luche's shoulder.

“Iggy, Gladio... hey...,” Noctis greeted with a small smile, “I wasn't aware that Luche messaged you.”

“We shouldn't have to hear about this outing from the Vice Captain,” Ignis stated crossing his arms sighing exasperated, “It's time to return. Let's allow the Vice Captain his rest.”

“Aw, but Iggy!” Prompto exclaimed pouting, “we barely got to see what his apartment looked like.”

“You can ask him when he's free to show you again,” Gladiolus stated shaking his head amused, “come on you two.”

“I suppose we could let the good Vice Captain rest,” Ardyn stated putting the whale shark down on the couch glaring at it slightly. Luche raised a brow at the action. Did the whale shark offend him or something?

“Oh alright. But we're definitely going to come back eventually,” Noctis relented pushing his hands into his pockets, “sorry about the frame.”

“I expect nothing less,” Luche replied evenly as Night and Storm came over to his side and watched the guests with a piercing gaze, “and it's merely a frame, your highness.”

“Are you going to be back on guard duty soon?” Prompto inquired tilting his head.

“Most likely,” Luche answered before nodding towards the door, “have a safe trip back. Try not to get into trouble down here. I will hear about it.”

“That's ominous,” Noctis muttered taking Prompto's wrist, “we'll be off. Bye Luche.”

“Yeah, bye Luche!”

“Have a good night, Vice Captain,” Ardyn stated strolling past Luche.

“Dramatic ass,” Luche muttered under his breath closing the door once they were all out, “now,” he glanced down at the two cats, “do either of you know how Ardyn got into the apartment?”


End file.
